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astreetcarnamedthetardis:

the best moment in literary history is by far the time in the odyssey when odysseus and his bros stab polyphemus the cyclops in his eye but he thinks odysseus’ name is “no one” so he thrashes about the cave screaming “NO ONE BLINDED ME!!!” and the other cyclopes are like “oh my god polyphemus SHUT UP”

(via flashing-stark)

thecouscousqueen:

grrrlfever:

Cosmo sex tip #394: Once your man reaches orgasm, awkwardly embrace him and whisper “well done Draco.”

I HAVE NEVER LAUGHED SO HARD I SWEAR

(via castielattano)

leonardsmccoy:

she wears short skirts, i wear blue shirts, she’s cheer captain and damnit jim, i’m a doctor

(via flashing-stark)

amoying:

svvitzerland:

svvitzerland:

how do you compliment a girl in french?

bon appetits

madame more like madayum

(via destiel-sherlocked-the-tardis)

best-of-funny:

iamtonysexual:

jonandtheon:

jonandtheon:

jonandtheon:

MY BOOK IS LOCKED IN A CLASSROOMN

RED ASLERT

I TOLD THIS REALLY NICE KID WHO NEVER CAUSES TROUBLE AND HEREACHED INTO HIS BACKPACK AND PULLED OUT A KEYCHAIN WITH KEYS TO THE CLASSROOM AND UNLOCKED IT FOR ME??

update i asked him why he had those keys and he said “its not important” im so lost

He’ll be vital to your quest later, don’t forget about him.

X

djavjr:

it has been three days since my infiltration into the nest

they do not suspect a thing

(via rock-bomber)